Getting Happy... when you wish you were dead

Day 140 – Saturday, 30 Mar

The outline for Getting Happy... when you wish you were dead is done. I’ve connected emotions with each day and event.

It’s a little funny, too. The first book I wrote took about six months to research, and the first draft was written in three days. This book has taken my whole life to prepare, and just the outline has taken ten days. I wonder how long it will take to write the whole book.

It feels good to have the outline done. It’s like having a road map in place, and now I can look at doing additional work for the book.

Part of the reason why the Kickstarter and media plans are done is that I’ve been avoiding working on the book. It’s hard, emotional work that often shows me in a bad light, and that deliberately stirs painful memories. Everybody, including me, is happy to see so much preparation and planning completed, but the truth is that it’s all pointless without the manuscript. So I’m very happy at having this first, important step finished.

It’s a good feeling to be challenged like this. Instead of just reliving memories, and letting them control me, I’m starting to sort what is my responsibility and what isn’t. I feel like there should be Star Trek music playing, and someone standing behind me narrating with something like “Boldly going where this man has never gone before.”

It’s exciting and frightening at the same time.

There was more looking at apartments today. Some are just a phone call because they’re taken, or the rent is too high. I went to see the apartment Denise told me about. It’s above an Italian restaurant, and it’s right downtown.

There are only twelve thousand people in town, so it’s a little surprising to discover there are so many apartments. There are even two rooming houses in town.

Mike Lord told me an apartment just opened in his building. The apartments are above a funeral home so they’re quiet, and the building is just two blocks away from the main downtown street. I’m going to look at it tomorrow.

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